I’ve spent a little while sitting here and I don’t know what to do. I’m not exactly very happy. I feel completely empty, devoid of any sort of purpose, connection or motivation at all. My life seems pointless to it’s very core and nothing makes any sense. I seem to have gained control to a decent degree, steering the ship so to speak, yet everywhere I look there’s an iceberg, better yet an abyss of nothing. No land in sight for millions of miles. I feel cursed, I feel hopeless and I’ve never felt more alone. I’ve pushed numerous people away because I’m scared of them. The pressures that others put on me to just be a functioning human being is tough weight on me even though it shouldn’t be. I don’t think I’ve messaged anyone with any meaningful thought for weeks. I only do so so that people don’t think I’m ignoring them. I’m the least stressed I’ve been in months, yet I’m the least happy, fulfilled and motivated I’ve been in years. I don’t think I believe in karma. But whatever I’ve done to deserve this, I just hope it ends soon, no matter the means.