This one is a little different from usual, for the express reason that I’ve put this blog off for weeks now and I can’t tell whether it was because things were getting better or worse for me. Things have slowly trickled into being extremely difficult for me. All this time and nothing to spend it on, I have no purpose which means I’m alone with my thoughts and my thoughts hate me. I’m not sure what to say other than I constantly feel depressed. I’m determined to get over it, maybe this is the last hurdle before salvation but that I can only hope. I feel motivated, the same way a cornered soldier feels motivated to throw all his grenades into the converging forces. The light at the end of the tunnel won’t appear for years but I’m thankful for the torches that help me along. I just hope everything will be ok. Hope is all I have left.