I missed two lectures due to sleep deprivation and I don’t think I have the strength for much more. I can’t do this anymore. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. I don’t know how to approach my academics anymore, my self esteem is in the most confusing spot it’s ever been in, I’m the loneliest I’ve been in years and I’m confused at how I’m meant to fix it all. I feel like an outcast, an incomplete beta test of a human being. I can’t find satisfaction, gratification or accomplishment out of anything, I never feel rested, I don’t know when I’m happy. I feel so disconnected from the human experience that I want it to just end. I realise this blog has turned into a diary rather than my day to day life, but I think you can garner that every day is the same.